Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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