We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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