i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
