you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
