Sponge bath it is.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
