First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist