some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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