My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0