Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.

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  (520): i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple. http://tfl.nu/a9o6
  Replies (7) Good night (1903) Bad night (655)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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  (602): I bet i've been more pregnant than you. http://tfl.nu/0mti
  Replies (16) Good night (777) Bad night (4386)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout

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  (215): I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout http://tfl.nu/qm9m
  Replies (11) Good night (6304) Bad night (564)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.

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  (410): To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows. http://tfl.nu/3dnj
  Replies (10) Good night (5703) Bad night (848)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.

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  (503): I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't. http://tfl.nu/gt6v
  Replies (6) Good night (4118) Bad night (1328)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.

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  (703): Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk. http://tfl.nu/el36
  Replies (12) Good night (6854) Bad night (1365)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?

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  (304): what's not responsible about a pool full of beer? http://tfl.nu/7inf
  Replies (8) Good night (3089) Bad night (806)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.

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  (613): Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground. http://tfl.nu/deou
  Replies (9) Good night (2587) Bad night (1160)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

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  (254): Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick. http://tfl.nu/p5hu
  Replies (22) Good night (3807) Bad night (1263)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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  (908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6
  Replies (13) Good night (3358) Bad night (717)
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  (805): View more from California

  So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka

  (1-805): View more from California

  Sweet. Did I win?

  (805): View more from California

  Youre hungover arent you?

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  (805): So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka (1-805): Sweet. Did I win? (805): Youre hungover arent you? http://tfl.nu/l89i
  Replies (4) Good night (2883) Bad night (548)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea

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  (785): They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea http://tfl.nu/7vrt
  Replies (5) Good night (2064) Bad night (607)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money

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  (703): Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money http://tfl.nu/3bbc
  Replies (7) Good night (515) Bad night (824)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.

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  (646): Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter. http://tfl.nu/74l7
  Replies (0) Good night (628) Bad night (298)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.

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  (202): He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today. http://tfl.nu/mcan
  Replies (2) Good night (1122) Bad night (306)

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