not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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