if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
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I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
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I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap