Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!