Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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  (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq
  Replies (111) Good night (46878) Bad night (2834)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on

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  (954): I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on http://tfl.nu/pg75
  Replies (43) Good night (3266) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"

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  (772): i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?" http://tfl.nu/6u9j
  Replies (20) Good night (967) Bad night (3834)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better

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  (732): note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better http://tfl.nu/x29k
  Replies (29) Good night (886) Bad night (3940)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video

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  (512): its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video http://tfl.nu/p3je
  Replies (14) Good night (6931) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?

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  (260): Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on? http://tfl.nu/ottv
  Replies (5) Good night (3992) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.

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  (502): You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down. http://tfl.nu/88lm
  Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (2219)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break

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  (805): The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break http://tfl.nu/smih
  Replies (3) Good night (2844) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.

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  (512): She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool. http://tfl.nu/41p2
  Replies (2) Good night (2157) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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  (845): This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink. http://tfl.nu/qaqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2457) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents

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  (206): he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents http://tfl.nu/f104
  Replies (48) Good night (1234) Bad night (3311)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.

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  (908): Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay. http://tfl.nu/7deg
  Replies (5) Good night (1219) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.

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  (770): Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days. http://tfl.nu/lo7p
  Replies (4) Good night (429) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans

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  (610): Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans http://tfl.nu/llf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.

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  (360): Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes. http://tfl.nu/mtcl
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (277)

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