Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

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(541): so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested http://tfl.nu/888p

Replies (22) Good night (564) Bad night (2446)
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(503): View more from Oregon

bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.

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(503): bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it. http://tfl.nu/wqus

Replies (20) Good night (4370) Bad night (622)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.

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(337): i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar. http://tfl.nu/sm5q

Replies (25) Good night (5959) Bad night (642)
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(802): View more from Vermont

does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

(1-802): View more from Vermont

actually, i try not to think about it

(802): View more from Vermont

and i pooped them out

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(802): does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children (1-802): actually, i try not to think about it (802): and i pooped them out http://tfl.nu/h4ew

Replies (54) Good night (7903) Bad night (1719)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.

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(973): i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones. http://tfl.nu/f4fy

Replies (25) Good night (4776) Bad night (729)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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(605): dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce. http://tfl.nu/vye8

Replies (20) Good night (4294) Bad night (873)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.

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(618): Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout. http://tfl.nu/q2nt

Replies (42) Good night (9326) Bad night (1314)
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(707): View more from California

She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.

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(707): She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place. http://tfl.nu/aqji

Replies (9) Good night (5464) Bad night (926)
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(208): View more from Idaho

You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.

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(208): You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian. http://tfl.nu/g8r4

Replies (12) Good night (2679) Bad night (617)
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(805): View more from California

There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it

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(805): There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it http://tfl.nu/82im

Replies (6) Good night (1145) Bad night (473)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.

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(647): I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me. http://tfl.nu/s96j

Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (324)
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(970): View more from Colorado

If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.

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(970): If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/8b4y

Replies (1) Good night (727) Bad night (329)
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(850): View more from Florida

You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home

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(850): You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home http://tfl.nu/tpyy

Replies (5) Good night (226) Bad night (425)
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(713): View more from Texas

I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick

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(713): I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick http://tfl.nu/vk4p

Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (184)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

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(402): I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween. http://tfl.nu/gen2

Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (192)

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