I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
