you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
