But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
