just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
