Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
