guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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