Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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