too bad you live with your parents still
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
