he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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