She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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