Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
