just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
