my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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