I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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