If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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