I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
