did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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