then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize
