Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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