I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
