No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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