bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
