i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You've changed since you got that strap on
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
