I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
