Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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