Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
