you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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