their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
