God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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