I hate all girls vehemently.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
