Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
