Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
