I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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