He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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