I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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