you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
