you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
