being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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