just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Blood and glitter go together right?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
