I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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