yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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