so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
