My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
