its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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