wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
