I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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