Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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