i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
