We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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