My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
