I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize