I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
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