I understand Curling. That high.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
