it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
