office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
