hotel room ftw
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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