He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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