bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
