Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
