How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize