Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
