Having a random hookup so left but love u
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
