btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
God, I missed his penis.
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